Dating as a single parent fucking SUCKS.  

This shit is hard AF. 

I’m not going to stop, give up dating or anything crazy like that mind you because dating is an experience all on its own. It’s become pretty vital to my well-being OK👌🏾. 

Let’s just file *dating* under #SelfCare for now. 

I’m out here trying to circumvent the pitfalls while experiencing them – Oh and I also obviously need to beef up the screening process because some of these applicants for the open position are out here trippin’. 

Imagine you start seeing someone, they even pass the probationary phase and you then introduce them to your kid(s).

Things don’t work out for one reason or another and you decide to call it quits. 

However the person you’re seeing wants to keep trying even though you’re not ‘bout that anymore and they won’t exit stage left amicably. 

It’s not the greatest situation to be in.

Then your KID files a loss prevention claim because they’re now invested in this person too – FUCK. 

Seriously WTF… now you’re stuck between dropping the person for your own sake or staying with them to make your kid happy. 

What do you do?

Here’s how I’m handling it currently. 

I disappointed my kid and ended things permanently (from my end). 

Here’s my reasoning…. if I stay in a relationship where I’m not happy for the sake of my children I’m actually doing them a disservice. 

It’s does way more harm than good for them. 

I’ve seen how my #WombFruit flourish when I’m happy too. It’s almost contagious – the happiness plus it’s kind of my responsibility to provide a healthy toxic-free environment.  

That whole won’t take a hint, let it go and move on thing happening with buddy right now definitely foreshadows more toxicity to come. I’ve dropped that ball more than enough times in that department so I’m kind of extra on the qui vive about it now. 

Hey… Progress not perfection. Better late than never… blah, blah, blah 😒 

It’s inevitable, I’m going to date again and although parenting (especially single parenting) comes with it’s own set of challenges, I just need to find a balance between the two. 

Simple… right?!?

I want to make my dating life a priority but I don’t want to waste mine or the potential candidate’s time if we’re not on the same page about a few things. 

I know the type of family I would be blessed to bring into existence with the right person by my side. 

Trying to force it with someone who doesn’t want the same vision wouldn’t be conducive to me achieving that. 

Trust me… I’ve learned that the hard way. 

Now I have some pretty iron clad dealbreakers in place. 

If who I’m seeing doesn’t “fit” the bill especially where my children are involved, why continue going forward. 

I’m the parent here, it’s a part of my job description to make these difficult decisions oh and of course let me also add a “because I said so” for old times sake. 

Now keep in mind I’m writing ✍🏾 this as the last applicant keeps calling me even though I made it clear I don’t want to communicate with them anymore. 

It’s kind of hard to take the high road when someone calls you over 20 times in less than 20 minutes just to tell you how they really feel in a not so nice manner. WOOSAH 🙌🏾 🙌🏾 

I dodged a bullet there… on a different note I’m definitely grateful about how this recent experience turned out. 

Not because I think what Mr. Macho Man is doing is endearing in any way (you’d be surprised what I used to put up with because I thought it was flattery) but the exact opposite. 

Not only can I identify and recognize potentially UNSAFE relationships… I have the wherewithal to walk away now BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. 

NOW that’s fucking POWERFUL.